Identity Crisis

Lately I've been thinking a lot about identity and where mine lies. I'm supposed to give the textbook Christian answer that my identity lies in Christ but I don't know if I honestly relate to that idea. I play so many parts these days that I'm not sure where the honest version of me went. Perhaps it's my own fault because of my co-dependency on unhealthy and broken people. I always fool myself into believing that through fixing someone else I can heal myself. I take on too many broken people, too man lost souls, to the point that my own is in jeopardy. I feel far away from God. I want to feel close, but the tangible relationships and things in my life are what keeps me grounded lately, not some spiritual entity. I wonder what it's like for people who deny the existence of God and the redeeming love of Christ. I've always wondered what was their motivation? Why even live a good life, to what imaginary standards are you holding yourself? Why even give a flying fuck? Then again I look to my own motivation and wonder. Just when I began to revalue my body as God's temple I desecrate it. To what use is it really to value something if not for our own self gain? Why give up things that society tells us to hold onto? Is it to give the finger to "The Man" and society as a whole? Or is it for some greater Good? I'm really good at holding onto things and making them "work". What if some things in my life just need to be let go of? There are few certainties in my life: my passion for music and the ways in which God speaks to me through it, my passion for teaching and filling young minds with knowledge of a better world than we have now, and my desire to someday be a loving mother and raise a God fearing family. If I let these things slip then what identity am I trying to hold onto? I need to ignite my passions but I need an eternal flame to keep me burning but I'm trying desperately to feed my own fire with things that are toxic and artificial when compared to Him.