nicotine

Nicotine notes
of missed goodbyes.
Torn threads,
Ragged remains-
passing for our hollow hello.
You know and-
I know,
That, this-
well, this isn't going anywhere.
I tried to give it life.
You kept up the breathing,
but your asthmatic rhythm-
Cut us off.
I soaked up your toxicity,
your second-hand excuses.
I forgive you for taking my lungs,
and filling them with air-
that left me,
once breathless
now grounded and gasping.
I'm picking up the scent again,
of gravel and bike grease.
I'm tying my shoes twice
as if somehow
the decay in my deepest, cavernous parts,
will stop.
Nicotine kills quietly yet chaotic-
a scent of you beneath it's musk.