So, I'm trying to make this a daily thing. However, I seem to always let the frivolous little following get in the way. I'll check my e-mail, see what friends are up to on facebook, see if any decent guys have "stalked" me on okcupid... all very stupid, time consuming acts not by any means adding to who I am as a person.
So I blog.
Tonight I watched "He's Just Not that into You" with my mom and my sister. I really don't like chick flicks because they leave me feeling just like I'm feeling at this very moment... alone. This is a constant struggle and something I whine and complain about way too often. I'm constantly searching for the magical knight in shining armour to come ride up on his shiny fixed gear... tattoos and bearded scruff... musky aroma... singing out to me lyrics from Bright Eyes and Death Cab... "I will follow you into the dark" But no luck yet, and my journey, well I haven't really just let the knight come to me, I've been in hot persuit, and it's gotten me no good leads. So, do I follow the movie and just wait for a man to come along? You know they say that in the movies, but then someone always comes along... Oh Eisley... "I went for so long, and I was so wrong, but then I found you, and now I can't live without you, and I don't want to..." This is not as constructive as I'd hoped...
Two years ago I started doing this thing called "online dating" and let me tell you it has allotted for some interesting "relationships"...
sex driven relationships
used
complimented
belonging
but ultimately... smaller...
I know that you never loved me;
I know that you never cared at all,
No my love we can't be friends,
In fact I liked you much better
When you'd just pretend.
What am I searching for?
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