Fasting

fasting-
I need to fast from my thoughts. I want to just escape for a weekend, somewhere, in silence to just think. still, I think I'd go crazy. I am selfish. People try to talk about things of substance and I lose interest. I am distracted by worlds I don't belong in. Why can't I be content with this person seated here right now?

On Tuesday I had to tell the truth, that I'd been falling back into my old patterns of sleeping around and casually giving pieces of my heart to people who don't deserve it. It was so refreshing to talk to a guy for once about something other than sex. Yet, I miss the attention, no matter how wrongfully directed it was. So I quit the dating website and don't meet up with random guys. First step I guess.

Now what to consider next? YWAM? Fasting... Support Group? I need prayers and strength. The music I listen to may not be helping, all about love that I can't quite understand... that I lust and covet over, yet it's so beautiful.

Lord speak to me please and help me feel you rock back to sleep what was so rudely awakened...