Scones and Thunderstorsm

It was so hard...
my morning routine has been broken. I typically grab my coffee and facebook every morning and my ritual has been halted by my awakening. One of my awakenings occurred only a few hours argo. I realized tonight how precious family is. In the midst of late night scone creations a possible tornado warning invaded our quiet evening. We all rushed to the basement, some more hesitant than others, to turn on the television to reassure ourselves of the eminent danger or the childish fear that dragged us away from the floury mess upstairs on the kitchen counter. While we sat watching the reporter indicate when and where the storm was hitting around us, my sister browsed through an old journal I had written back in 1st grade. I am proud to say that I was quite the articulate six-year-old. However, a lot of even way back when was spent on me desiring for this and that person to be my friend. "I like Julie, Annn, and Melissa but Julie is my best friend!" Cute, I know, right? Now flash forward to today... I still am longing for that community. It seemed so much easier when we were little, right? Now there are so many things that can get in the way. Still, there is a group of people in my life that I haven't given enough recognition; my family. My family has loved me through thick and thin. I have let them down a lot lately, and I get a lot of smack from them sometimes, but they still love me. But I'm scared. What if I mess up so bad that they don't want to love me anymore? Who will I turn to then? I know I can always turn to God, but I need community here. I need touch, not the type I've been searching out lately, but just a hug. It sounds silly, but it's a vital part of me. I love my family and I know they love me, I'm just worried that if they knew the whole me they wouldn't feel like loving me so much anymore. I pray that You will give me Trust Lord that my family will take care of me no matter how far i have fallen. Please keep me safe and forgive me for my mistakes. I really can't afford to have them follow me anymore. I want to change and be that child eagerly writing in her journal of all the friends she made and the seemingly uninteresting adventures she has taken part in. Now it's time to sleep... I love You Lord.